Live to Tell

"Making art is chancy--it doesn't mix well with predictability. Uncertainty is the essential, inevitable and all-pervasive companion to your desire to make art. And tolerance for uncertainty is the prerequisite to succeeding." -Art & Fear

About four weeks ago, I was offered a teaching job at a detention center. For 24 hours, I wrestled with myself. I made a pro/con list, and I weighed the likelihood of both driving myself crazy and getting shanked in the leg with a spork from the kitchen. When I stripped down all of the ridiculous excuses of not accepting the job, the truth came out.

What if all of these educated years were building me up to be the ultimate scam artist? I only appear to teach you English, and I only appear to care about you. Grammar? What's that? Writing? I've never done it.

It turns out, I was apprehensive about my own ability to succeed, not the student's criminal records. I do consider teaching and writing to be my form of art. Like the quote says, nothing stunts art like uncertainty and the fear of failure...and yet, nothing is as progressive either.

Once I realized my fear, I quickly got over it. It's been two weeks, and tomorrow the first big writing assignment is due. We'll see if Izzy has learned what those, "Two upside down commas are," and we'll see if Al has figured out how to capitalize. We'll see a lot of things. I have all the confidence in the world in these kids; I know they have already learned a lot, and I have learned a lot too.

Besides learning the difference between barbed wire and razor wire, I've learned that making judgements based on appearance are bad (some of my toughest looking students, are the nicest/ most sincere). I've learned that kids are kids...no matter what. I've learned that the students like to see me embarrass myself for their benefit.

Most of all, I've learned that I have so much to learn. Have I mentioned that I LOVE learning?

(PS-Stay tuned for sneaky pictures of my classroom)

Dream.Come.True.