- Saw my best friend get married
- Worked at JetBlue
- Experienced some not fun things as a family
- Worked as a Substitute
- Wanted to pull my hair out as a Substitute
- Worked at Groove Satellite...again
- Taught Summer School at SCYC
- Moved to Provo
- Taught first two semesters at SCYC
- Waited/waiting for Christmas
- Lost my passion
A few days ago, I had what you might call a "moment of clarity." Let me explain. Over the last few months, I have immersed myself in my job. I sought out what my students needed, changed my teaching to accommodate their needs, gave them words of encouragement, built up my credibility, taught lessons they need to succeed, advocated for school improvement, and celebrated when students left. BUT somewhere between getting attitude from the short term, seeing school improvement proposals shot-down, trying to get just one concept to stick, and watching a model student comeback (and comeback the opposite)...I lost my passion...a little.
I had this so-called "moment of clarity" as an evaluator was talking about breathing life into the words we speak. To be honest, I was only half listening because he did breathe A LOT of life into what he was saying, but I did listen and what he said did resonate. His explanation triggered a few examples of people who breathe life into words. Most specifically, I thought of Professor Steven Walker at BYU. This small, wise, old man recited Tennyson from memory and said:
"Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
I teach. I teach lessons the kids need. The kids like me. All clues point to a good job...which is probably true. I'm not TOO hard on myself. The reality is, though, now that I have realized my jadedness has gotten the best of me, it's time to strive, to seek and to find that passion again. What's lost can be found, right? Like the song. My goal over the Christmas break is to get back that passion. The passion to not only help a student learn English, but move them with English.
New Year's Resolution? To work on my passion for writing, running, reading the scriptures, and anything else that is good.
I want to be heroic again, and I will be...see, I'm already getting the passion back. ;)
